You'll Remember Me

You’ll remember me

It might take a while for those three words to sink in, but I know that by the end of this you’re going to be remembering why you forgot me in the first place

I’m not blaming you for going away; I’d like to do the same
Sometimes I feel trapped in my own skin
Sometimes I just want to get in a car and drive, never stopping until I figure out where I’m meant to be

Speaking of where I’m meant to be, I thought I figured it out
And I guess I was mistaken when I thought it was with you

It’s just that when you held me that night, I could’ve sworn it felt like one of those cheesy love stories, you know the one’s that end with the girl and the guy so very much in love sharing a kiss under the stars?
I never believed in that crap
But something about the way your eyes shone in the moonlight made me almost want to

I think it was then that you told me you loved me, and for the first time in a long time I felt safe
Not just safe, but there was a sense of belonging that I barely noticed I had until it was no longer there
Now I don’t fit anywhere at all

We had the greatest talks, you and I
But I don’t know if you ever truly understood what I was saying, I don’t even know if I understood what I was saying
I think I contradicted myself far too often

One day I told you I wanted to be lost, I wanted to criss-cross over maps never really having a permanent destination
And then sometime later I just wanted to be found, I wanted to have a long-lasting place to call my own
I’m pretty sure I exhausted your patience frequently

If you ever loved me at all, I don’t know how or why
I don’t expect that kind of emotion from anyone really
But just out of curiosity, do I ever come to mind?

I know that sometimes when I close my eyes I see your face, and I want to reach out and touch you
To tell you that I’m sorry, but that loving you made as much sense as loving a dream
You can’t love something that’s not real

And every now and then I imagine you reaching for me too, like you’ve forgiven me for all the horrible things I’ve ever done
But I know my heart plays tricks on me sometimes, I know I didn’t deserve you

But if you’re ever with someone someday who truly loves you the way you are supposed to be loved, and you feel a deep gnawing ache within the intricate veins of your heart—
That’s me
The girl you somehow loved first
And when the memories of us begin to flicker behind your eyelids as you press your lips to her skin

Don’t forget that I promised you’d remember me