This Isn't Goodbye, But This Isn't Hello Either

I'm no good at hellos, I feel that introductions are often a lie
You never hear people say: Hello my name is so and so, and I'm afraid of being alone
Because people don't like to admit that they fear anything
Being fearful of something makes us seem vulnerable
(Or does it?)

I think I somehow knew it was going to end up like this
There was always you and there was always me
But there was never us

I replay the first time we met, those awkward first glances and exchange of words
The beginning of many conversations to come
We didn't know it then, but we would soon be listening to one another's voices like they were the only sounds that made sense in this world
(When did we decide they meant nothing at all?)

I remember the last time we saw each other, those too-short kisses and drawn-out hugs
The promises of forever, that always seem so real in the moment
(But that I don't think anyone really ever intends to keep)
We didn't know it then, but we would soon be pretending that everything was ok even when it wasn't
(When did we decide we couldn't possibly make things right again?)

Honestly, I'm not afraid of being alone
I'm just afraid I might always be that way

This isn't goodbye
This is just goodnight
Maybe I'll see you again tomorrow, or the day after that

This isn't hello either
This is two strangers passing each other by without saying anything at all
Maybe someday we'll make our introductions again

But next time I'm going to say: Hello my name is so and so, and I'm afraid of losing you